4 Reasons Why Your Fleshlight Is the Only Valentine You Need
Aktie
Guys, if you’re living the bachelor life this year and mulling over if you should spend this Valentine’s Day alone… or, if you should go out on a limb and ask out that one girl, this article is for you.
In reality, regardless of your relationship status, keep on reading as we (half-jokingly, half-seriously) explain why Fleshlight is the very best Valentine’s date a guy can have.
First, let’s answer an age-old question.
Why Do Men Hate Valentine’s Day?
Whether you’re single or taken, this holiday can come with a lot of pressure. For us dudes, it’s often known as a day where you either are made to feel like crap for being alone or stressed out and told we need to “impress” our significant other.
It costs us money, time, and energy on a random day. We’re told we need to be creative, thoughtful, and caring with our gift and date plans. While this is not the case with everybody, it certainly has this reputation for a reason.
Valentine’s Day with Fleshlight
We think that while Valentine’s Day can absolutely be about romance with your partner - it doesn’t necessarily have to be with another human.
We’re talking about something that’s low maintenance and specifically made to give you all of the gratification you want and deserve.
If you haven’t made plans already, here are 4 reasons why your Fleshlight is the only Valentine you need this year.
Reason #1: A 100% COVID-Free Date
If you needed one sole reason to embrace your Fleshlight as your Valentine this year, this is it.
Fresh off of 2020, and with very few vaccines currently in circulation, COVID-19 is still running rampant. If you’re going to be up close and personal with anyone nowadays, you’re running a risk of the virus infecting you and your loved ones.
However, unless you’re in a serious relationship, you shouldn’t feel the least bit bad about choosing to bump and grind with your favorite Fleshlight this Valentine’s Day.
Aside from helping to keep you COVID-free, the Fleshlight can protect you against basically all microscopic threats. In fact, it was created, in part, to address the spread of sexually transmitted diseases (STDs).
Whether you're having trouble finding a safe partner or waiting for the right one to come along, the Fleshlight offers a safe and satisfying means for expressing your sexuality this Valentine’s Day.
Reason #2: It’s Easy, Affordable, and Fun
As we mentioned, there are a few reasons we guys hate Valentine’s Day - it costs us money, time, and energy. It’s often a big hassle, too.
With most women today, chocolates, wine, dinner reservations, and additional date plans are often expected.
A Fleshlight, on the other hand, demands or expects nothing in return besides proper cleaning and care.
Enjoying it is easy. Simply pop off her caps, slide-out her sleeve, warm her up, lube her up, and slide on in.
Compared to your average Valentine’s Day dinner, gifts, and jewelry, a Fleshlight is not only affordable but a great investment that is built to last for years.
When you take into account the “fun factor,” which Valentine’s Day plan sounds like the best time?...
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Sitting at home alone
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Going on a Valentine’s date you’re not that into
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Spending a ton of money but not getting any play at the end of the night
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An evening with the greatest male sex toy product ever created
The choice is yours.
Reason #3: A Guaranteed “DTF” Valentine
There’s only one thing more disappointing than a Valentine that demands chocolates, dinner reservations, and rose petals scattered throughout your home upon arrival...
One that isn’t “DTF” (down to f*ck).
While every relationship is different, if you’re a bachelor or on the fence about trying to impress someone you recently just met, staying in for a night with your Fleshlight just might be your best option.
Think about it...
This year Valentine's Day falls on a Sunday. That means you get to wake up whenever you feel like it and have the entire day to do as you please. Once the evening rolls around, you can “Netflix and Chill” with your beverage of choice, light a couple of candles, and enjoy the company of an always-DTF Valentine.
Reason #4: Any Orifice, Any Time
Ok, let’s say your date is “DTF”... but what if she’s not into what you had in mind for the evening.
Let’s say you realllllly were hoping to try something new, like anal, for the first time. Let’s be honest, for most of us guys, there's no guarantee that's actually going to happen.
At Fleshlight, we offer you all multiple orifices and experiences for you to slide your cock into any time you like.
Blowjob
Maybe you want a sloppy, suck-a-golfball-through-a-garden-hose type of blowjob. There’s only one way to guarantee you’re going to get it - The Fleshlight Turbo
If you’re looking for the most realistic and satisfying alternative to oral sex, this is it! The Turbo’s three entry points simulate a stellar blowjob every time you use it.
Whether you like to stimulate just the tip or you prefer the tight, spine-tingling sensation of deep throating, the Turbo provides you with the most suction of any of our toys.
Anal
Are you in the mood for anal? Sorry, bud, that doesn’t mean your Valentine is going to be down with a backdoor romp.
Lucky for you, almost all of our Fleshlight Girls are more than willing to take it in the rear, anytime, anyplace.
A few examples of our phenomenal backdoor textures include Maitland Ward and Kissa Sins’ toys: Tight Chicks and Sinner.
As you can see, the narrow enticing orifice is followed by a tight, narrow-diameter lined with intricate and highly stimulating features designed to milk your cock dry.
Vaginal
As you know, when it comes to standard sex, just because you DO have a Valentine, it doesn’t mean you’re gonna get it.
Maybe you pissed her off.
Maybe she’s not in the mood.
Or, maybe she’s “out of commission” for a few days.
When you have a Fleshlight, you know that you have a top-of-the-line pussy that’s just as ready to smash on February the 14th as you are.
Choose from a wide array of fan-favorite vaginas such as Fleshlight Girls “lady” textures or the Stamina Training Unit. If you want to go smaller or just more travel friendly, make sure to check out the GO Series.
All kidding aside, we sincerely hope you find love this Valentine’s Day. In fact, Fleshlight is more than just a solo-masturbation brand, our products are perfect for partner play, too!
Click here to shop our wide array of pleasure products for both men and women!